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備考輔導(dǎo):用好模板打造托福考試滿分作文
來(lái)源:滬江英語(yǔ)網(wǎng)
發(fā)布時(shí)間:2012-12-05 18:58
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進(jìn)入大學(xué)應(yīng)該如何學(xué)習(xí)英語(yǔ)?大學(xué)與高中并不相同。在大學(xué)一部分學(xué)會(huì)了荒廢,一部分人學(xué)會(huì)了執(zhí)著。不知何時(shí),“模板”這個(gè)詞進(jìn)入到了我們的眼簾。太中國(guó)風(fēng)!太分?jǐn)?shù)至上了!而一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的模板,考友們會(huì)想:不用擔(dān)心老師會(huì)給我們的。這個(gè)時(shí)候太多的人實(shí)在是太相信眾多教育機(jī)構(gòu)老師的精力了,別說(shuō)每一個(gè)人做一個(gè)新模板,哪怕是每一個(gè)班級(jí)做一個(gè)新的模板都是不可能的,原因很簡(jiǎn)單:沒(méi)那個(gè)時(shí)間!

那么我們就只有求助于網(wǎng)絡(luò)了,但是網(wǎng)絡(luò)的傳播性實(shí)在是太廣了!一個(gè)模板剛剛出現(xiàn),有可能明天就有100個(gè)人在用了,你想想當(dāng)考官看到100個(gè)人寫出來(lái)的作文都用同樣的開頭的時(shí)候,他將會(huì)是什么情景。當(dāng)然這里指的是國(guó)外的考官。國(guó)內(nèi)的考官看到的時(shí)候可是很爽的,太棒了!又造出來(lái)一幫一模一樣的學(xué)生,加分點(diǎn)明確,可以給分了!

當(dāng)面對(duì)重重阻力的時(shí)候,很多人不禁產(chǎn)生了懷疑。我們是否應(yīng)該使用模板?使用模板是否會(huì)導(dǎo)致低分?我們到底該用什么模板?其實(shí)答案很簡(jiǎn)單,模板應(yīng)該用,必須用,大膽用!

但是有一個(gè)十分重要的前提性條件,那就是模板一定是要原創(chuàng)的!原創(chuàng)的?!開玩笑,我們這輩子從來(lái)就沒(méi)自己思考過(guò),一直都是老師喂到我們嘴里的!是的,這就是你一直咒罵中國(guó)式教育的起點(diǎn)。其實(shí)很多滿分作文都是使用了模板,但是由于使用的十分之精巧,同時(shí)再加上是原創(chuàng)模板,因此連考官也拿他沒(méi)有辦法,人家寫的就是棒嗎!

OK,先來(lái)看兩段例子!第一段是不好的例子,第二段是好的例子。

Nowadays, thanks to the development of Internet, we are exposed to a vast ocean of information. Some argue that so much information brings a great benefit to our life and study. But for me, the experience with surfing Internet leads me to believe that accessing much information cause more problems than it solves.

Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to students as education. Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding which thing should the education aim at. I, given the chance, prefer to endorse that preparing for careers should have primary consideration.

當(dāng)看到第一篇文章的時(shí)候,已經(jīng)沒(méi)有了當(dāng)初得的興奮,因?yàn)檫@樣的文章實(shí)在是太常見了!首先Nowadays這個(gè)單詞是被無(wú)數(shù)老師推崇的“高級(jí)”單詞-_-?。?!一直無(wú)法理解,為什么有的單詞會(huì)更高級(jí)。然后thanks to節(jié)賓語(yǔ),天吶!多么明顯的模板!當(dāng)我往下看的時(shí)候,我只能無(wú)意識(shí)的檢查是否有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤,沒(méi)有語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤的話,我也就只能給個(gè)一般的分?jǐn)?shù)就好了。

但是當(dāng)看到第二篇文章的時(shí)候,初看覺得此文寫得不錯(cuò)。用詞準(zhǔn)確地道,而且完全是自己完成沒(méi)有模板,但是當(dāng)我回頭再一回味這篇文章的時(shí)候,驚訝的發(fā)現(xiàn),這篇文章竟然也是由模板所出!首先Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to students as education??此破降瓱o(wú)奇,但是實(shí)際上Perhaps no issue in this world is as significance to就是一個(gè)模板,更厲害的是下一句!Despite various responses people may have on the topic concerning the issue regarding which thing should the education aim at.這么長(zhǎng)的一句話,竟然只有最后3個(gè)單詞不是模板!然后再接下來(lái),下一句的“given the chance, ”其實(shí)對(duì)于整句話來(lái)說(shuō)根本就沒(méi)有任何實(shí)際上語(yǔ)義的改變!但適當(dāng)加進(jìn)來(lái)之后,我們會(huì)感覺到非常的地道!之所以無(wú)老師感覺如此震驚,原因非常簡(jiǎn)單,就是因?yàn)樵谶@篇文章身上完全看不出半點(diǎn)模板的影子,為什么看不出模板的影子呢?就是因?yàn)檫@篇文章的模板是完全原創(chuàng)的,哪怕不是原創(chuàng)的,也是僅在小范圍內(nèi)流傳的!而且這篇文章后面類似的妙手不計(jì)其數(shù)!

反過(guò)來(lái)再看國(guó)內(nèi)流傳甚廣的403模板,雖然也是勝在模板分量夠重,但是由于使用的人實(shí)在是太多,實(shí)際上已經(jīng)變成了一顆毒丸。除了讓考官惡心致死,爬起來(lái)之后給我們一個(gè)低分之外,別無(wú)其他的效果。當(dāng)然這里很多人很想看看403模板的陣容。

In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether AAA or BBB. This problem is the much debated one in that it affects everybody in their daily lives. People may prefer one to another although some may have no opinions about it at all. Before rendering my opinion, I think it is necessary to take a glance at the arguments of both sides.

It is quite easy for average people to choose BBB because of the obvious reason that—. It can be given by a well known example that

But at the mean time, although BBB has some advantages, it also has many drawbacks such as —. Therefore we have no complete evidence to suggest that BBB is always better than AAA. What is more, the innate quality of AAA, unfortunately, is often underestimated; in other words,if you notice the invisible benefits of choosing AAA, you can understand AAA more deeply

Here I would explain a few of the most important reasons. The main reason is that —. To illustrate this, there is an appropriate example that is very persuasive: -

— is only part of the important aspects, and another equally significant role of choosing AAA lies in the development of —.

This demonstrates the undeniable fact that —.

Besides, the further reason why I advocate AAA is that —. This may explain why —.

In addition, some experts maintain that —-. This significant point, however, is often not noticed by most people and accordingly, is unconsciously overlooked

Finally, as a proverb says, “Everything has two sides”. Although I admit that there are a couple of advantages of —-, I still think that the disadvantages of it are more obvious. Such as —, —-, and —-. This demonstrates that we have no complete evidence to suggest that BBB is always better than AAA

If all the factors above are considered, we will find out that the advantages of AAA outweigh those of BBB. Therefore from what we have discussed, we may safely come to the conclusion that choosing AAA is a rather wise decision. But I have not denied the opinion that choosing BBB. I must admit that people can do well without AAA, but no one can ignore the added convenience and satisfaction offered by AAA. Such experience will definitely be helpful in one’s later life。

像這種開頭以In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether AAA or BBB.來(lái)作為開始的模板,實(shí)在是太多太普遍了。當(dāng)然還包括“Nowadays, some people hold the opinion that”“In modern society,”當(dāng)一看到這樣的標(biāo)題,考官就好像用自己的左手握著自己的右手,絲毫感覺不到有任何的激情產(chǎn)生。但是同樣是模板,其實(shí)如果我們另辟蹊徑,換用一種完全不同的手法來(lái)寫,感覺就是十分的清新。Before rendering my stand, I think it is essential to take a glance at the argument on both sides. 就是這樣,雖然同樣也是在展示自己的觀點(diǎn),但是由于完全不同于以前我們看到的十分程式化的模板。其實(shí)模板很多時(shí)候看的不是用多少詞,以及句型有多么的夸張,其實(shí)很多時(shí)候憑借前一個(gè)詞與我們以前看到的文章的匹配程度,就已經(jīng)有很強(qiáng)的感覺了。

當(dāng)然我們?cè)谒茉炷0宓臅r(shí)候,也是要遵循一定的原則的。

1 新穎:所謂的新穎不代表說(shuō)你用了什么新的詞,用了什么強(qiáng)調(diào)句式,倒裝句式,指的是全新的,以前的模板沒(méi)有用過(guò)的話,那么怎么才能知道前人到底用過(guò)什么模板呢?很簡(jiǎn)單,到寄托天下或者太傻的作文互助帖子里面去看一下,不超過(guò)20篇,你就對(duì)模板是什么樣,有一個(gè)很深刻的認(rèn)識(shí)了。

2 結(jié)構(gòu)完整,關(guān)于結(jié)構(gòu)完整,無(wú)老師在《手把手教你打造滿分作文模板(上)【無(wú)老師原創(chuàng)】》發(fā)布之后,即有考友給無(wú)老師留言,這段寫得特別好,無(wú)老師原文收錄在下面。

謝謝無(wú)老師啊,最近我也在研究模板的構(gòu)造,我的思路是分成以下幾步:

1. 確定文章主體框架結(jié)構(gòu),包括引出觀點(diǎn)和總結(jié)觀點(diǎn)的詞匯,句式,這個(gè)可能是網(wǎng)大多數(shù)模板的水平;

2. 確定論證過(guò)程的框架,每個(gè)支持段落都有各自的論證模式,舉例,因果,對(duì)比等,確定到論證的邏輯引導(dǎo)詞上;

3. 通過(guò)改寫句子,采用合適的詞匯代替以上兩步的成果;

4. 改變句式,將各類語(yǔ)法結(jié)夠加入其中:倒裝,獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu),虛擬語(yǔ)氣等。

這位考友的思路是十分完備的,按照這個(gè)思路再加上充足的練習(xí),幾乎可以預(yù)見到這位考友的分?jǐn)?shù)將是無(wú)限接近滿分的。

那么我們其實(shí)就可以按照這位考友的思路來(lái)走。首先第一步確定主體結(jié)構(gòu),其實(shí)現(xiàn)在的托福作文總體來(lái)說(shuō)大多采取3-5段式。第1段點(diǎn)題,第2-4段展開,最后一段,也就是第5段收尾。

這是整體的文章結(jié)構(gòu),具體到每一段之內(nèi),也是遵循這個(gè)思路,第1、2句表明本段的主題,然后接下來(lái)幾句話進(jìn)行支持,如果是第一段、那么在該段落的最后還要給第二段留出引子,以及在最后一段最后1、2句還要進(jìn)行總結(jié),以及強(qiáng)調(diào)自己的觀點(diǎn)。

至于第三步,改寫句子對(duì)于大多數(shù)人來(lái)說(shuō),其實(shí)還是尋找句子,然后才是改寫句子。搜集句子與改寫句子其實(shí)是一個(gè)互相輔助的關(guān)系,你搜集的好句子多了,那么你改寫的難度就低了;反過(guò)來(lái),你搜集的好句子少,那么相應(yīng)的要取得高分,你需要做的改寫就多了。因此從這個(gè)角度來(lái)看,還是一開始就把搜集句子這個(gè)步驟做扎實(shí)來(lái)得好。

要說(shuō)搜集句子,首先要有一個(gè)堅(jiān)強(qiáng)的后盾,那么這些后盾從哪里來(lái)呢?

這要看你需要什么句子,如果是找每一段開篇點(diǎn)題的句子,最好還是找一些文學(xué)性比較強(qiáng)的東西,比如說(shuō)一些給白領(lǐng)看的經(jīng)濟(jì)類文章,我們經(jīng)常提到了的[經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)人].The.Economist.就屬此類。要想尋找經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)家的話最好還是去verycd這個(gè)網(wǎng)站http://www.verycd.com/topics/2727001/ 這里就是一個(gè)很好的選擇。比如說(shuō)無(wú)老師就從2008年11月15日這一期的第12頁(yè)找到了一個(gè)很好的句子,很適合當(dāng)文章的開頭。Asked what China will do to rescue the world from financial turmoil, its officials these days have a boilerplate answer:its greatest contribution will be to keep its own economy running smoothly.我們把它放在Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.這個(gè)作文題目之下,就可以改寫成Asked what teachers will do to improve their students, the response in high schools have a boilerplate answer:the greatest contribution of homework will be to keep its their students appreciating their knowledge entirely.

那么我們提煉一下Asked what …… will do to ……, the response in …… have a boilerplate answer:the greatest contribution of …… will be to keep its their …….就是一個(gè)十分優(yōu)秀的作文開頭模板。

我們也可以從同樣是2008年11月15日這一期的120頁(yè)找到Further evidence of emerging markets’ potential comes from the experience of Britain’s AstraZeneca in China.這一句只要稍加修改就可以變成一個(gè)非常優(yōu)秀的2-4段的段落開頭,首先把他模板化Further evidence of …… comes from the experience of …… in …….然后再加入一點(diǎn)倒裝句式來(lái)證明我們的文學(xué)水平Not only does ……come from the experience of …… in ……., but (also) evidence of ……subsequently(further) prove……這樣一個(gè)優(yōu)秀的論證段的段首句模板就完成了。

至于例子的模板,那么就是新聞的天下了,我們?nèi)匀豢梢栽凇督?jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)人The.Economist》里面尋找,當(dāng)然也可以到新華網(wǎng)的英文版里面尋找。比如說(shuō)在新華網(wǎng)http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/2010-01/13/content_12804141.htm 無(wú)老師就找到了這么一句話South Korea’s capital city now has been named their most favored travel destination two years in row, according to the report, as 11.4 percent of the Chinese, 9.8 percent of the Japanese, and an overwhelming 20.0 percent of the Thai expressed their preference for Seoul, toppling cities like Tokyo, Paris and Honolulu in the survey. 這里面我們就可以把這個(gè)句子直接提煉為模板…… now has been named their most favored …… two years in row, according to the report, as 11.4 percent of the ……, 9.8 percent of the ……, and an overwhelming 20.0 percent of the …… expressed their preference for ……, toppling cities like …, … and … in the survey.相識(shí)的數(shù)字,加上確鑿的低點(diǎn),一切顯得都是那么無(wú)可辯駁,但是實(shí)際上這就是一個(gè)模板。

當(dāng)然我們不肯能每一個(gè)句子都是這么長(zhǎng),因此我們可以加入很多For example, Therefore, 所引導(dǎo)的句子來(lái)增強(qiáng)文章內(nèi)部的節(jié)奏感,使得讀者不會(huì)感覺到過(guò)于疲憊。

至于末段的模板則是有一些講究的,但是當(dāng)無(wú)老師看了無(wú)數(shù)篇作文和《經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)人The.Economist》的文章之后,無(wú)老師開始反思我們很多學(xué)生寫的“ After ruminating over all these factors, ”“It is more advantageous for us to make decision alone,”“As far as I am concerned, I come to the notion that”這類作文結(jié)尾,是否是一種符合歐美人思維的文章,因?yàn)槟阒灰晕呀?jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)人的文章找?guī)灼恼碌慕Y(jié)尾看一下就會(huì)知道,其實(shí)這里面絕大多數(shù)時(shí)候,都是以羅列多方觀點(diǎn)作為末段的開頭。然后以開放式的筆法來(lái)進(jìn)行結(jié)尾。這與我們很多學(xué)生寫的一面倒型的結(jié)尾是完全不同的。

但是既然我們想制造的就是中國(guó)是模板,那么好吧,請(qǐng)將“ After ruminating over all these factors, ”“It is more advantageous for us to make decision alone,”“As far as I am concerned, I come to the notion that”收入你的囊中,其實(shí)這幾個(gè)模板結(jié)尾還是不錯(cuò)的。但是這同時(shí)也給無(wú)老師一個(gè)啟示,就是這兩篇文章其實(shí)僅僅是一個(gè)小小的開始,無(wú)老師后面將寫大量的文章來(lái)探討模板的制造。無(wú)老師真的不清楚這是在幫助中國(guó)的考生,還是繼續(xù)毒害中國(guó)的考生,但是既然那么多的考生從分?jǐn)?shù)中受益,那么它就該有存在的價(jià)值吧。

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