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[摘要]雖然人們常常說(shuō)“多個(gè)朋友多條路”，很多人都熱衷于拓展自己的朋友圈。但即使你是一個(gè)喜歡光交四海賓朋的人，有這樣四種人也是萬(wàn)萬(wàn)交不得的：吸走你精力的人，只想著自己的人以及總是說(shuō)謊的人。

I often read blog posts, here at Forbes and on other platforms, that spark further thought. I just read one at Inc.com, by Jeff Haden, about the types of people you should remove from your inner circle if you're a business owner。

我經(jīng)常在福布斯和其他網(wǎng)站上讀一些博客帖子，有些帖子發(fā)人深省。我最近在Inc.com網(wǎng)站上讀了一篇杰夫。哈登寫(xiě)的帖子，帖子講的是企業(yè)主應(yīng)遠(yuǎn)離的幾類(lèi)人。

It got me reflecting on the folks I've removed from my life over the years （not removed in the Mafioso sense – I mean 'stopped interacting with‘）， or those I've encouraged others to remove. It might sound callous or draconian, but I'm convinced that life is too short to have people around you on a daily basis who make it more difficult to succeed or to be happy.Now of course, we all have days when even the folks we're fondest of – friends, colleagues, family – make us want to tear our hair out. That's not what I 'm talking about （that's life on the planet）。 I'm talking about those folks who consistently make your life harder or less pleasant.So, here's my observation of the three types of people to invite out of your life:

這讓我不禁想到了幾年間那些被我從我的生活中消除的人（我的意思是“停止交往”，而不是黑手黨意義上的消除），和那些我勸別人疏遠(yuǎn)的人。這聽(tīng)起來(lái)可能有些冷漠無(wú)情，但是我堅(jiān)信人生苦短，我們不應(yīng)該讓那些阻礙我們成功和快樂(lè)的人整日出現(xiàn)在身邊。有時(shí)候即使是我們最喜歡的朋友、同事和家人也會(huì)是我們發(fā)狂，但那不是我要說(shuō)的情況（這個(gè)星球的生活就是這樣）。我要說(shuō)的是那些總是你的生活充滿(mǎn)困難和不快的人。下面的三類(lèi)人，就是我通過(guò)觀察認(rèn)為你應(yīng)當(dāng)遠(yuǎn)離的人。

Energy vampires. Some people just wear you out; you feel more tired and stressed, less vital after interacting with them. These folks seem to believe that the main job of their friends and colleagues is to help them feel better. I once had a friend who required hours and hours of “processing” – his pain, difficulty, emotional upheaval, the unfairness of his past life: everything needed to be gone over ad infinitim. Sadly, no matter how deeply you listen, no matter how much counsel you offer, no matter how much you put your own needs on the back burner to support these folks, it will not be enough. Think about the friends and colleagues who consistently take more from you than they give back, and ask yourself why you're still offering yourself to be sucked dry。

精力吸血鬼。一些人總讓你精疲力盡，與他們交往后，你感到很累很壓抑，甚至萎靡不振。這些人似乎認(rèn)為朋友和同事的主要工作就是使自己過(guò)得好。我曾經(jīng)有一個(gè)朋友，他分秒不停地“訴苦”——關(guān)于他過(guò)去的生活所經(jīng)歷的痛苦、遇到的困難、遭遇的情感挫折和不公平待遇。每件事他都要無(wú)休止地講下去?？杀氖?，無(wú)論你多么用心聆聽(tīng)，無(wú)論你提出多少建議，無(wú)論你為了幫助他們放下自己手頭多少事，在他們看來(lái)似乎都顯得不夠。想想你的那些朋友和同事，他們從你那里拿走的遠(yuǎn)超過(guò)歸還的，然后問(wèn)問(wèn)自己，為何還要讓他們吸取你的精力。

I Me Mine: My brother used to be married to someone who expected much more from others, on a daily basis, than she was willing to give. For instance, she had no problem asking someone to babysit for her child, or watch her house, or run an errand for her…but when it came time to reciprocate, somehow it just never seemed possible. When she came to visit, everything had to be oriented to accommodate her: the foods she required, the quietest room with the proper light, the cats farmed out to friends because of her allergies. No such accommodations were possible when others visited her. “I Me Mine” people are the center of their own universe, and if they're in your life, you are always going to have to work around their needs and preferences. Collaboration, reciprocity and give and take are not part of their vocabulary. Do what you can to minimize your interactions with these folks （although they may let you know in no uncertain terms that you're being unreasonable or unfair not to be available to fulfill their every whim）。

我，我的。我弟弟曾和一位女士結(jié)了婚，這位女士總期望別人為她出更多的力，而她自己卻很少付出。例如，她毫不客氣地讓別人幫她照看孩子，看管房屋，或者跑腿等等。但當(dāng)別人有事請(qǐng)她幫忙時(shí)，幾乎不可能。她去拜訪別人時(shí)，衣食住行都要符合其要求：食物要合口；住房必須安靜且光線適中；由于她對(duì)貓過(guò)敏，主人要托朋友看管貓。當(dāng)別人回訪她時(shí)，卻根本得不到這樣的待遇。“我，我的”這類(lèi)人總是以自己的世界為中心。如果你和他們一起生活，你將不得不總是圍繞他們的需要和喜好工作。在他們的字典里從來(lái)沒(méi)有諸如“合作”“互助”“互相謙讓”之類(lèi)的字眼。你要盡量減少與這些人來(lái)往（盡管他們可能明確告訴你，如果不滿(mǎn)足他們每次的心血來(lái)潮，你會(huì)顯得多么不公，多么不近人情）。

Liars. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times – why are you still on the list of people whose calls I return? If someone is consistently unreliable, or tells you things that aren't true, or says one thing to you and another thing to someone else in order to protect themselves…cut them loose. Liars are the worst. Energy Vampires and I Me Mines are a pain and make your life more difficult – but Liars can create honest-to-goodness legal and moral problems。

說(shuō)謊者。愚弄我一次，你真不害臊；愚弄我兩次，我真丟臉；愚弄我三次——我為什么還和你交往（我都不會(huì)再回你電話(huà)了）？如果一個(gè)人一直以來(lái)都不可靠，總是告訴你一些不真實(shí)的事，并且為了保護(hù)他自己的利益，總是當(dāng)面一套背地一套，你應(yīng)當(dāng)遠(yuǎn)離這樣的人。說(shuō)謊者最可惡。“精力吸血鬼”和“我，我的”這兩類(lèi)人只是讓你痛苦或者活得更艱難些，但說(shuō)謊者卻能真正造成一些法律和道德問(wèn)題。

The great thing to realize is that you actually have the power to do this. You don't need have to these people in your life. You can kindly but firmly minimize your interactions with them. And that frees you up to invite wonderful people into your life. 重要的是，你應(yīng)該意識(shí)到實(shí)際上你有能力去做這件事。在生活中，你不需要這些人。你可以友好但要堅(jiān)決地減少與他們的交往。這樣一來(lái)，你就可以自由地邀請(qǐng)一些令你愉快的人進(jìn)入你的生活了。